Escape to Paradise: Pointe Estero Resort Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Pointe Estero Resort Awaits! - My Crazy Honest Review (And Why You NEED This)
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the (deliciously caffeinated) tea on Pointe Estero Resort. Forget those polished, robotic reviews – this is the real deal, straight from my caffeine-fueled brain. We're talking honest-to-goodness opinions, some gushing, some…well, let's just say I have opinions.
First off, the name, "Escape to Paradise"? It’s a bold claim. And let me tell you, after surviving…well, life lately…I was ready for a fight to the death for that paradise. And honestly? Pointe Estero kinda delivers. (More on that later, I'm a rambler).
Accessibility: My Stance is, They Try…But…
Okay, this is important. Let's be real. I went with my Aunt Mildred (bless her heart) and she is very… mobile-challenged. The resort does have "Facilities for disabled guests" which is a HUGE win. They list elevators (thank GOD), and they also talk about "Wheelchair accessibility". However, here's the thing. While the main areas are generally accessible, there were some hiccups. Some of the pathways to the beach? Tricky. Mildred nearly took a tumble on the sand. So, while I applaud the effort, I'd recommend calling ahead and being very specific about your needs. They seem genuinely willing to help, but it's like they haven't quite ironed out all the wrinkles yet. Accessibility Score: 7/10 (Room for Improvement, but a solid effort!)
Staying Connected (or Not):
Listen, if you NEED to be glued to your phone, you're going to have a good time. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Boom. Done. They also have Internet access, Internet [LAN], and Wi-Fi in public areas. So basically, you can be as plugged in (or unplugged) as you want. I personally preferred the "unplugged" part, basking in the sun and stuffing my face with… (see Dining section!). But for you workaholics, the Internet services were reliable.
Things to Do & Ways to (Attempt to) Relax:
This is where the magic happens. I'm a stress-ball of a human, so “relaxing” is usually a pipe dream. But even I managed to chill a little.
- Spa/Sauna: Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Yes, yes, and YES. I spent a solid two hours melting into a puddle in the sauna. I’m talking full on, existential crisis-level relaxation. They also had a Body scrub – which I HIGHLY recommend. It's like shedding a whole layer of blah. Also, Massage was heavenly. I'm not even sure what the masseuse did, but I swear I stopped aging for a solid 60 minutes.
- Swimming Pool: Now, I usually hate crowded pools, but the Pool with view at Pointe Estero was actually…pleasant. Clean, well-maintained, and the view? Stunning. They also have a Swimming pool [outdoor]. You can swim and stare off into the distance and pretend you're a mermaid.
- Fitness Center/Gym: Okay, I’d like to tell you I went for a workout. I didn’t. I peeked in the Fitness center. It looked clean and well-equipped. Kudos. Now, lets talk about that Foot bath… I didn't try it, but I'm intrigued now that I look back.
Cleanliness & Safety: Seriously Impressive!
This is a HUGE one, especially nowadays. I felt incredibly safe. They're taking this stuff seriously, which is fantastic.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Professional-grade sanitizing services: Check, check, and check!
- Rooms sanitized between stays, Room sanitization opt-out available, Sterilizing equipment: The staff are clearly on top of things.
- They even have Cashless payment service, and Individually-wrapped food options.
- Staff trained in safety protocol, hand sanitizer are available (I swear I used so much, my hands feel like a desert now!)
- Safe dining setup made me feel comfortable and at ease
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: OMG Food! (My Weakness)
Okay. Let's talk about the most important part of any vacation: the food. Pointe Estero delivered. Seriously. I may or may not have eaten my body weight in…well, everything.
- Restaurants: Several options! Restaurants, Poolside bar, Coffee shop, Snack bar,
- Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant
- Breakfast [buffet], Buffet in restaurant: The breakfast buffet was my jam. They had everything. I'm talking Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, Coffee/tea in restaurant, etc. And don't even get me started on the pastries. They have a Bottle of water in the rooms.
- Room service [24-hour]: YES! Especially helpful after a long day of… (ahem)… relaxing.
Services & Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter
- Daily housekeeping: My room sparkled!
- Concierge, Doorman: Super helpful and friendly.
- Elevator: Crucial for Mildred!
- Gift/souvenir shop: (Got a slightly tacky t-shirt for my nephew. Sorry, kid!)
- Laundry service, Dry cleaning, Ironing service: Thank goodness, because I lived out of my suitcase.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site]: Easy parking.
For the Kids (And the Kid in All of Us):
- Family/child friendly: Absolutely. They had Kids facilities that were great.
- Babysitting service: For when you desperately need an hour of spa time.
- Kids meal: Easy breezy.
The Rooms: My Sanctuary (with a few quirks):
Alright, now for the nitty-gritty: the rooms. I stayed in a room with a Window that opens, which I loved. Some quirks though, let me tell you.
- Air conditioning, Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor: All the essentials, check!
- In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], and Window that opens: More goodness!
The Room Drama: My room initially had a slightly questionable view (a brick wall). But after a quick chat with the awesome front desk (Thank you, Maria, you angel!) they happily moved me to a room with an Ocean view. Huge win! Also, the Bed was crazy comfortable. I slept for twelve hours straight one night. Twelve hours!
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer, Taxi service, Valet parking, Car power charging station, Bicycle parking
Couple's Moment:
- Couple's room, Proposal spot
The Verdict?
Pointe Estero Resort? Absolutely book it! It's not perfect, nothing is. But it's got a fantastic atmosphere, a solid sense of safety, and is a perfect escape. Especially if you need a serious dose of R&R.
NOW, THE OFFER (Because You Deserve a Break, You Amazing Human!):
Stop dreaming. Start escaping! Book your stay at Pointe Estero Resort TODAY and get:
- 15% off your stay! (Use code ESCAPE2024 at checkout!)
- A complimentary spa treatment (Choose from a massage or body scrub!) - Book now!
- Free breakfast for one day! – Get yours by booking ahead of your stay
But wait, there's more! Book within the next 48 hours and receive a bottle of chilled Prosecco upon arrival! This offer is only valid for a limited time, so don't delay! You deserve this. Go on, treat yourself. You've earned it
Luxury Amman Apartment: Umm Uthaina Oasis Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's travel itinerary. This is a messy, real-life, hopefully-not-too-embarrassing, attempt to conquer Pointe Estero Resort in Fort Myers, Florida. Prepare for potential meltdowns, questionable food choices, and my general inability to adult. Here we go…
Pointe Estero Mayhem: FORT MYERS EDITION – AKA, Pray for Me
Day 1: Arrival, Beach Bliss (and Mild Panic)
- 1:00 PM: Arrive at Southwest Florida International Airport (RSW). Ugh, airports. The smell of stale coffee and the existential dread of delayed flights. Pray to the travel gods that my luggage actually makes it this time. Last time, I spent three glorious days in Vegas wearing nothing but the same questionable Hawaiian shirt and a look of utter despair.
- 1:45 PM: Pick up rental car. Okay, the car is…small. Like, suspiciously small. Reminds me of that time I tried to squeeze six people into a Smart Car. This should be interesting. Pray the GPS doesn't try to kill me. I swear, that woman's voice is trying to lead me into a ditch.
- 2:30 PM: Arrive at Pointe Estero. Unpack. This is where the "vacation glow" starts, right? I hope it's not replaced with "panic sweat." The hotel is…nice. That's the professional way of saying, "Wow, the lobby has marble! Fancy!" I'm already picturing myself accidentally spilling something expensive on it.
- 3:30 PM: BEACH TIME! I've dreamt about this. Sand between my toes, the sun on my face, the blissful sound of waves. I’m picturing myself as a sun goddess, gracefully strolling along the shore. Reality? I'll probably trip, drop my sunscreen, and get sand EVERYWHERE.
- 4:00 PM: First swim in the ocean. The gulf of mexico is just so beautiful.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner at the resort restaurant, "The Deck." Pray the food is good. My hangry is legendary. Fingers crossed for a decent cocktail. Side note: if they don't have a decent Mai Tai, I’m going to be "that person" at the bar. The one that causes the waiter to quietly pray for their shift to end. Order the fish, my stomach is rumbling again.
- 8:00 PM: Sunset stroll on the beach. Try to capture a perfect photo. Fail. Will blame the clouds. I’m going to pretend I'm in a rom-com, gazing at the glorious sunset, except I’m probably going to trip again. And spill my cocktail. Definitely.
Day 2: Adventures (and maybe a little sunburn)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Feel slightly less like I’ve been run over by a truck.
- 8:30 AM: Breakfast at the resort. The breakfast buffet is a dangerous place. I need to pace myself. I always fail. Pancakes. Bacon. Fruit. More pancakes. Regret.
- 9:30 AM - 12:00 PM: Kayak and Paddle Board. I’ve never paddle boarded before. This could go one of two ways: graceful serenity, or a spectacular, humiliating faceplant into the ocean. Guess where I'm betting my money? But the idea of gliding across the water sounds amazing.
- 12:30 PM: Lunch at a beachside shack. Hopefully, they have something fried. My willpower is minimal on vacation.
- 2:00 PM Back at the beach. Spend more time on the beach, swimming and sunbathing.
- 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: Pool Time. I have a complicated relationship with pools. Love the relaxing aspect, hate the public display of my pale, winter-worn skin. But hey, it's okay to be a little self-conscious, right?
- 7:00 PM: Dinner outside of the resort. Explore the area. I’m craving a good burger. Or maybe seafood. Or both.
- 8:30 PM: Evening walk on the beach. More chances to trip, more chances to enjoy the ocean.
Day 3: The Great "Naples" Debacle (and The Majestic Dolphin Cruise)
- 8:00 AM: Wake up. Feel like a slightly less rumpled version of myself.
- 8:30 AM: Breakfast. Repeat previous day's breakfast decisions, with predictably horrifying results.
- 9:30 AM: Attempt to do the "Naples" road trip. But first, coffee! I need fuel, and probably a lot of it. The plan? Drive down to Naples, explore the fancy shops, the art galleries, pretend I understand the "art" people pretend to understand.
- 10:00 AM: On the road!
- 10:00 AM: Start the drive. 2 hours of driving, and I'm already starting to feel the existential dread. Is this what getting older is like? Just endless driving and the vague feeling that I’m going anywhere?
- 11:00 AM: Traffic happens. Ugh. This is why I hate driving.
- 12:00 PM: Try to park. Find parking in Naples. Mission impossible. I think I’ll just drive back and sit on the beach.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch – Probably a quick bite somewhere, depending on the parking fiasco. Or maybe I’ll just give up and buy a bag of chips.
- 2:00 PM: Dolphin Cruise! This is the highlight of the trip, the thing I'm really looking forward to. I'm picturing frolicking dolphins leaping joyfully alongside the boat, the sun setting in a blaze of glory, a perfect moment captured forever. A truly majestic experience? Maybe! Though I'm a bit worried about seasickness. Cross your fingers!
- 4:00 PM: Dolphin cruise. The cruise was amazing. I can’t even describe the feeling of watching these graceful creatures jump and play in the waves. It was beautiful. I even managed to stay upright and not throw up! The sunset was beautiful.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner. Somewhere casual, perhaps on the water (if my stomach can take it).
- 8:30 PM: Wind down. Read a book (if I have the energy).
Day 4: Shopping Spree…or Disaster? (and the inevitable sunburn)
- 8:00 AM - 9:00 AM: Wake-up and take breakfast.
- 9:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Shopping time. I always overspend on vacation. It's a talent. I wander through the shops, looking for souvenirs, or anything that catches my eye. I always buy things I do not need. Maybe a new swimsuit. Maybe a hideous, yet strangely appealing, flamingo lawn ornament. Confession: I probably already have a flamingo lawn ornament.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a cute cafe I found.
- 2:00 PM: Beach. Beach is always good.
- 4:00 PM - 6:00 PM: The dreaded sunburn. This is inevitable. I always underestimate the sun. At least I have aloe vera. The burn feels like a badge of honor for the vacation.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a nice restaurant. Maybe I'll put on some real clothes, or at least try to.
- 8:30 PM: Pack. The most depressing part of the trip.
Day 5: Departure…or the Aftermath
- 8:00 AM: Wake up and Grab a coffee.
- 9:00 AM: Check out. Say goodbye to the beach. Maybe shed a tear. Probably.
- 9:30 AM Stop by a local cafe and sit, sip coffee and re-live the memories.
- 11:00 AM: Head to the airport.
- 12:00 PM: Wait for the flight. Pray for no flight delays.
- 1:00 PM: Fly back home.
This is it. My "planned" adventure in Fort Myers. Wish me luck. And send sunscreen. And maybe a life raft.
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Escape to Paradise: Pointe Estero Resort - You Have Questions? I Have Opinions (and Occasional Brain Farts)
