MGH Alona Resort: Bohol's Paradise Awaits! (Unbelievable Views!)
MGH Alona Resort: Paradise Found… (or at least, really close!) - A Rambling Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the beans on MGH Alona Resort. "Bohol's Paradise Awaits!" they declare, and honestly? They're not entirely lying. But let's be real, finding paradise isn't always a flawless, Instagram-filtered experience. This review is going to be the real deal – warts and all, messy emotions included.
First Impressions (and the Airport Transfer – Getting There is Half the Battle, Right?)
Getting to Bohol is generally a breeze. The airport transfer, part of the deal, was thankfully not a harrowing experience. The driver, a local fella with a perpetually cheerful grin, whisked us away in a comfy, air-conditioned van. Much better than wrestling with tricycle drivers in the tropical heat, let me tell you. The accessibility aspect seems okay – the resort is built on a bit of a slope, so navigating might be tricky if you have serious mobility issues. They do have an elevator, though, which is a massive plus (see: "Services and conveniences").
Rooms: Lush, but Not Flawless (and the Internet…oh, the Internet!)
Okay, the rooms. They’re beautiful, genuinely. We went for the Panoramic Ocean View (I think – all the rooms in Bohol have views, right?), and the view? Unbelievable. I mean, proper jaw-dropping. Waking up to that every morning? Pure bliss. Available in all rooms: Air conditioning (thank GOD), free Wi-Fi (which, let's be honest, is essential these days), a mini-bar (crucial for those late-night cravings!), a hair dryer (a savior for my frizzy-haired sister), a safe (never used it – I'm a risk-taker, apparently) and a coffee/tea maker (essential for my morning caffeine fix).
The Internet. Sigh. Internet Access - LAN was an option; Internet services are listed, along with Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and Internet. But even those free Wi-Fi got spotty, especially during peak times. I was desperate to upload a sunset photo, and it took me about an hour. Eventually, I gave up on the video call with my family. This is where a good, strong internet connection is critical.
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Secure (and Smelling Clean!)
I'm a bit of a germaphobe, so I was relieved by the attention to cleanliness. Cleanliness and safety: They're serious about this. Daily disinfection in common areas and Rooms sanitized between stays are standard, which is reassuring. They also offered us an Room sanitization opt-out available. They've really leaned into this whole post-pandemic thing. Anti-viral cleaning products used. Hand sanitizer everywhere you turn. Staff were sporting masks, and there are signs reminding you to keep your distance. They have Staff trained in safety protocol, too. I felt safe, both physically and health-wise.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: From Buffet Bliss to Midnight Munchies
Okay, food. Let's talk food! Dining, drinking, and snacking: They really offer the whole package to eat, drink, and be merry. The restaurants were fantastic. Asian cuisine in restaurant, and Western cuisine in restaurant. The Breakfast [buffet] was a daily highlight. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, fresh fruit, it was heaven! They offered a Breakfast takeaway service, for those lazy mornings. They have a Poolside bar where I lost track of how many margaritas I consumed while gazing at the view, and the cocktails were strong! The Coffee shop was great for a caffeine fix. Room service [24-hour] was brilliant for those late-night burger cravings. The Desserts in restaurant were also outstanding. The Soup in restaurant was great. We mostly stuck to the buffet, but they do have an A la carte in restaurant if you’re feeling fancy.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax, and That Magnificent Pool
Things to do, ways to relax: They have it all. Let's be honest, the main activity is lounging by the Swimming pool [outdoor] with a cocktail, staring out at the ridiculous view. The Pool with view is breathtaking. They have Fitness center, which I bravely ignored. (vacation mode on) They have a Spa/sauna as well, which didn't fully have a Sauna, but still I did enjoy the Spa and Massage – because duh. They also offer Body scrub and Body wrap, though I didn't partake.
The Imperfection (The Really Tiny One) and a "Quirky Observation"
So, the only real "complaint" (and it’s tiny) is that sometimes, the service could be a little…slow. Like, extremely slow for a coffee. But then you look out at the ocean, and you forget all about it. It's island time, people! Chill.
Quirky observation: there's a tiny, almost insignificant, detail – the bathroom phone! I can't imagine ever actually using it. It feels so…1980s.
For the Kids (and Families) - What's on Offer?
They have plenty for the little ones, with Family/child friendly options that are key. They have Babysitting service, just in case you want a guilt-free romantic dinner. They even have Kids meal.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things (and the Big Ones)
Services and conveniences: From the 24-hour Front desk, Daily housekeeping and concierge services, and even the Cash withdrawal – they truly offer everything you need. The Laundry service was excellent, and they even offer Dry cleaning. They have a Convenience store where I stocked up on snacks and sunscreen (essential!). Oh, and the Doorman was lovely, greeting you with a smile every single time. The Elevator was a lifesaver (mentioned above). You can also Currency exchange.
The Emotional Verdict: Did It Live Up to the Hype?
Honestly? It did. Muddled as my ramblings might sound, I had an absolutely fantastic time. The views are out of this world. The rooms are comfortable. The food is good. The staff is friendly. It's a little slice of paradise, imperfections and all.
The "Come Book Now!" Pitch (The Unsolicited, But Necessary, Sales Pitch)
Are you dreaming of turquoise waters, white sand beaches, and sunsets that'll make you weep with joy? Then stop dreaming and book your escape to MGH Alona Resort right now. We could all use some time away from the chaos, and this place is perfect for it.
Here's what you get:
- Unbelievable Views: Seriously. Just book it for the view alone.
- Comfy Rooms: Perfectly appointed, with everything you need to relax and be pampered.
- Delicious Food & Drinks: From breakfast buffets to poolside cocktails, your taste buds will thank you.
- Relaxation Options Galore: Sunbathe, swim, get a massage, repeat!
- Peace of Mind: Clean, safe, and with a staff that genuinely cares.
Don't wait! The best rooms (with the BEST views) are probably booking up fast. Book now and prepare to be utterly amazed. And if you see me there, say hi. I'll be the one with the margarita and the goofy grin, completely mesmerized by the view.
Uncover Kefalonia's Hidden Gem: Forestata Village Awaits!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. We’re going to MGH Alona Resort in Bohol, Philippines, and trust me, it’s going to be LESS "organized" and MORE "organized chaos." Prepare for a rollercoaster, because my travel planning is often more "wing it and see what happens" than "precise Swiss watch."
MGH Alona Resort - Bohol: A Messy, Glorious Adventure (or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Inevitable Tourist Trap)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Luggage Drama (and the Mosquito Apocalypse)
- Morning (ish): Okay, let's be real, "Morning (ish)" translates to "waking up at 10 am because jet lag is a demon gremlin." Landed in Tagbilaran Airport. Found a cute little tricycle – the only vehicle that seems built for island life. Felt like a rockstar whizzing through the streets, wind whipping through my hair, until…
- The Great Luggage Drama: Realized my suitcase was missing. Cue internal screaming. Went through the usual motions: frantic phone calls, frantic emails, frantic pacing. Found out it was chilling in Manila. (Facepalm emoji). Decided to treat myself to a celebratory halo halo anyway; the mango was heavenly.
- Afternoon: Checked into MGH Alona Resort. First thought: "Wow, this pool looks inviting… and so do those cold-looking Bintang shirts." The room was fine, basic but who I'm kidding, I barely spend time in the room, I'm on an island!
- The Mosquito Apocalypse: Unpacked. Immediately got bitten by a mosquito. Then another. And another. By the end of the unpacking, my legs looked like I had a serious case of the chickenpox. Learned a valuable lesson: Bring ALL the bug spray. And maybe a hazmat suit.
- Evening: Wandered the Alona beach. The sand was soft – and the cocktails were potent. Chatted with a local fisherman who proudly showed me a giant starfish. Tried to order pizza but it took 1.5 hours to be delivered. Gave up and settled for fried squid and a beer, and that? Utter bliss.
Day 2: Panglao Island Hopping – So Many Boats, So Little Sleep
- Morning: Woke up to the sound of roosters. Internal screaming. Had to drag myself out of bed. The itinerary stated "sunrise" but the sun was already blazing by the time I got my act together to go on the boat. Jumped on a boat tour with a group of Germans who all looked impossibly tan.
- Sardine Run: Snorkelled with actual sardines. It was AMAZING. Like, genuinely breathtaking. Thousands upon thousands of shimmering fish, a swirling silver cloud. Almost got swallowed by a rogue wave. Totally worth it.
- Balicasag Island: Went to Balicasag Island, which was crowded, but beautiful. Saw turtles, which were beautiful and majestic. Paid a fortune for a coconut and then spilled it all over myself. The Germans chuckled. I just wanted to be left alone to watch the turtles.
- Afternoon: Visited Virgin Island. This is where the tourist trap vibes really amps itself up. Beautiful sandbar? Yes. Hundreds of vendors trying to sell you everything from seashells to "authentic" pearls? Also, yes. Felt overwhelmed so bought some sea food, and the taste was really good.
- Evening: Tired as hell. Ate dinner at a local restaurant, and had some Adobo. Fell asleep mid-sentence.
Day 3: The Chocolate Hills and Tarsier Trauma (and the Great Scooter Fail)
- Morning: Rented a scooter. Cue the dramatic music. Thought: I'm an adventurous traveller, i can handle this. 10 minutes later: swerved off the road. Nothing serious. But my pride? Shattered.
- Afternoon: Chocolate Hills. The view was incredible. Felt like I was looking at the set of a very strange, but beautiful, Dr. Seuss movie. Took a million photos. Got sunburnt on my nose. Thought I was a goner.
- Tarsier Trauma: Spent another hour at the Tarsier Sanctuary. Cute, yes. But these things are tiny. They really don't like being stared at. I felt like a giant, clumsy predator. Made me question my entire life choices. Had to leave.
- Evening: Tried to find a sunset spot. Ended up getting lost on a dirt road. Finally, found a beach bar. Had a beer. Realized I'd spent the day mostly lost. Decided that was perfectly fine.
Day 4: Beach Bliss and Final Thoughts (and the impending doom that is the day of departure)
- Morning: Woke up. Decided to do absolutely nothing. (Best decision ever). Spent the entire morning lounging on the beach at Alona. Read my 2 books, got in the water, ate some mango, and just relaxed.
- Afternoon: Went for a massage. It was pure, unadulterated bliss. The masseuse was amazing. Fell asleep mid-massage. Woke up feeling like a new person.
- Evening: Ate dinner on the beach. The sunset was stunning. Talked to a local who told me a story. He gave me a flower. I was starting to feel like a local myself.
- Final Thoughts: This trip wasn't perfect (hello, luggage, sunburns, and mosquito bites). But it was real. It was messy. It was full of unexpected delights and slightly embarrassing moments. I wouldn't trade it for anything.
- The Impending Doom: Packing, the realization that I'm leaving paradise, and the airport.
In conclusion: Bohol is a stunning place. MGH Alona Resort is a solid base. My travel planning is questionable. But the memories? Priceless. And hey, at least my suitcase eventually arrived. (Right before I left, of course). Until next time, Bohol! You glorious, chaotic, mosquito-filled paradise.
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MGH Alona Resort: Bohol's Paradise... or Is It? Let's Get Messy!
Okay, Real Talk: What's the Vibe at MGH Alona? Is it *Actually* Paradise?
Alright, let's rip the band-aid off. Paradise? Maybe, *sometimes*. Picture this: You're walking down the sandy path, the sun's blazing, and you get this first glimpse of the infinity pool... and BAM! Jaw drops. The ocean? Sparkling. The views? Seriously, unbelievably, postcard-worthy. But… (and there's always a "but," right?), the "paradise" feeling ebbs and flows. It's like a really, *really* good Tinder date – the profile pics were spot-on, but after a couple of hours, you start noticing the crumbs on the beard. Sometimes, it's pure bliss. Other times, well… let’s just say the staff could use a little more pep in their step.
The Rooms: Are They Worth the Hype (and the Price Tag)?
The rooms… Okay, here’s the deal. We stayed in a "Deluxe Ocean View," and the view was… *chef's kiss*. Seriously. You could practically roll out of bed and into the turquoise sea (though, you know, you'd have to walk… cautiously.) The room itself? Decent. Not mind-blowing. Clean enough, but I definitely saw a rogue ant or two on the first day. And the aircon? Fought it out with the humidity every night. It was like a silent battle of wills, and the humidity often won. I swear, one night I woke up feeling like a damp sponge. But still, the VIEW. That's what you're paying for. And on that point, it mostly delivers.
And the Food? Spill the Beans! What's the Grub Like?
Oh, the food. This is where things get… interesting. Breakfast was included, and it was a pretty standard affair. Eggs, rice, the usual suspects. Nothing to write home about, honestly. Get there early, or you'll be battling (metaphorically, of course, it's a resort!) for the last piece of bacon. The lunch/dinner situation? Hit or miss. The in-house restaurant had some good days, some… less good days. One grilled seafood platter? Absolutely divine. Another night? Let’s just say the fish tasted like it had been swimming in sadness. Pro tip: Venture out! Alona Beach has tons of restaurants. Get out there and eat some authentic Filipino food. Trust me, your taste buds will thank you.
The Pool: Is It Instagrammable? And, More Importantly, is it *Good*?
The pool! Oh, YES, it's Instagrammable. Like, *ridiculously* Instagrammable. You'll be shooting photos from every angle. The infinity edge, the ocean view, the cocktails... it's basically a photo op factory. But is it *good*? Well… it's a pool. Cleanish. Sometimes a bit crowded. And the music? Think elevator muzak meets tropical beats. It's background noise, mostly. But hey, you're swimming, you're soaking up the sun, you're probably holding a cocktail. What more could you ask for? Other than a slightly better playlist, maybe.
What about the Spa? Did You Get Massaged? And Was it Magical?
Okay, the spa... I had high hopes. I pictured myself, tranquil, serene, melting into a cloud of relaxation. Reality? A little less "magical," a little more "mosquito bites." The massage itself was... fine. Not the worst I've ever had, not the best. The room was a little dark, a little musty. And I swear, I got at least three mosquito bites during the session. Three! I was so itchy afterward. It wasn't a *bad* experience, but it wasn't the transcendent spa experience I'd been craving. I mean, the view from the massage table was gorgeous, I'll give them that! But maybe bring your own bug spray. Just a thought.
The Staff: Friendly Faces or a Little… Strained?
The staff… This is probably the biggest mixed bag. Some staff members were genuinely lovely, friendly, helpful. Others… well, let's just say they weren't exactly brimming with enthusiasm. There were times where a smile felt like a Herculean effort. Language barriers, possibly? Maybe. Exhaustion from the constant influx of tourists? Also, maybe. Regardless, a little more warmth wouldn't go amiss. But credit where credit is due - when you *did* get a friendly face, it really made a difference. It's a lottery, honestly. Just try to be patient, and remember that everyone's just trying to make a living.
Alona Beach Itself: Beyond the Resort Walls - Is it Awesome or Overhyped?
Okay, Alona Beach. The main event! This is where things get real. The beach itself is gorgeous -- white sand, crystal-clear water... stunning. But… it can get crowded. *Really* crowded. Especially during the peak sunset hours. And the vendors! They're relentless, hawking everything from massages to souvenirs. It could get a little overwhelming fast. It's a constant barrage of "Hey, mister, you want a massage?" "You want to buy a hat?" "Try this banana boat!" It’s a vibrant, chaotic atmosphere, but honestly, at times, a little exhausting. My advice? Embrace the chaos, wander around, and get yourself a fresh coconut. And be prepared to politely decline a LOT.
Diving/Snorkeling? Does MGH have good options, or should I look elsewhere?
I'm no seasoned diver, but the ocean around Alona is supposed to be fantastic. Sadly, I didn't dive. But I did do a little snorkeling, and it was decent enough. Nothing *amazing*, but definitely worth it to catch a glimpse of the underwater world. If you're a serious diver, you'll probably want to arrange something through an outside operator. MGH offers the usual tours, but I don't have firsthand knowledge to critique them. Be prepared to book in advance; spots fill up fast. I did see some amazing pictures though… makes me wish I'd taken the plunge! (See what I did there?)
